Soul Bazaar

Sticky: A thought or two about parenting and re-parenting

March 27th, 2010 11 Comments » Filed under Acknowledgement

We have started the first Soul Mastermind Circle last week. I am honored and grateful to be able to contribute to the Cause of the Inner Child. Seems to me too many people in their adulthood are showing behaviors of children these days, without knowing it themselves. Including people in power, actually affecting millions of lives.

While I meditate on the joys that Re-Parenting my own little Grace brought to my life, last night before I went to sleep I am thinking of that one element of natural parenting that is crucial for the bond to be created between the parent and the child.

When I think of my experience as a mother, I see that sacred moment when you are the grown up bearing your own child, and you finally have your child in your arms, no matter how old you are, your first instinct yells at the world at the top of your lungs, feeling with all your being that “you will love and protect the integrity of that child even if you have to die in the process. With your life”.

I would safely say that there, in that moment is the source of parenting. In that moment when the grown up makes the bond and takes responsibility to protect the child. That is the moment where the experience of parenting is so magnificent. Because it gives you the instant opportunity to develop the courage to not fear any more. Technically you don’t have a choice. You have a child of your own now.

You have the opportunity to conquer fear, as Don Juan from the Carlos Castaneda teachings would say. You have the opportunity to model fearlessness, this time around. You don’t have another choice if you don’t want to keep planting the seed of fear. You know It didn’t work very well for you, right? You don’t want it for your kid.

In other words, it gives you the opportunity to set the stage to become an instant grown up. Making serious decisions that will affect your child’s life from now on. A Huge responsibility.

My first born son Max used to say at 15 “Well mom, this is my first time being a teenager and your first time being the parent of a teenager, we might as well compare notes and learn from each other’s experience.” You and your Inner Child have been in symbiosis  without communicating for the longest time. Max’s advice is resonant here. The first conversation with your Inner Child is in order.

The thing is that in spite of that  magical feeling that embraced you when she was born you couldn’t meet that promise you did to her and to yourself. You couldn’t protect her integrity 100%. Not the way it you would have wanted. Nor the way she would have needed it.

Think about that feeling for a moment, the one of the bond. The one saying you would give your life for that amazing little creature that came from a part of you, and the feeling invades you with unlimited strength and the magic of faith. Feel it again, bringing it to your heart.

Now, just imagine your little Grace or little Daniel inside for a moment, how much that part of you was sitting on her or his chamber, waiting for how many years to hear those words and secretly hoping you would take action one day. She knows you are the only one that can calm her anxiety.

Let’s imagine you are looking at her in the eyes, this minute  and saying

“You are such an extraordinary gift to the world, I believe you always deserved to hear these words “I love you so much, I am so sorry that I couldn’t meet the promise to myself and to you that I would protect your integrity for as long as you needed, set the record straight until you could fly on your own, with my own life if it was necessary. “I am honored to Acknowledge you “.because you totally and undoubtedly deserved that respect.  The full protection of your integrity and full entitlement to be  lovable. I am so sorry I couldn’t deliver.

Your Inner Child has been listening attentively to what you have to say. She knows that the only person that matters taking that action is you. She knew all along that those words could only come from your heart through your lips. The only ones that would sing to her soul.  Speak to her truth.

Let the silence flow in while she smiles with hope and joy. The moment has finally come. The only adult that matters in her life is giving her the attention she needs. She is so thrilled, you can see it in every gesture, every sound.

Flooded with the emotion of love You manage to add: “I see you and I love what I see”

Now my friend, fasten your seat belts, you are about to start an experience in real parenthood. Whether you have children of your own or not. In some ways the truth is that until you re parent your own Inner Child, there is not a serious attempt to fully becoming a “natural parent”. The alternative is to keep being an “educated parent”.

What is the difference? The educated parent will probably keep doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result and we all know where that one goes. Generation after generation repeating the same behaviors of our ancestors. For years to come, borrowing other people’s lives and beliefs because we are afraid to believe in ours enough to live it.

If you want to change the world, start with your Inner Child. Give birth to the New Inner Child. The one of the future. The one that will be able to think without emotional baggage and consciously co-create, connecting and combining intelligence in oneness, enhancing coherence,  for generations to come, thanks to your courage to re-parent her.

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