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Arjuna Ardagh: Why It Is Wise to Worship a Woman

August 6th, 2010 6 Comments » Filed under Articles

A few days ago, after a particularly exquisite evening with my wife Chameli, I put this post up on Facebook before going to bed:

“I have had many, many great teachers in my life. A super abundance. No one and nothing comes close to the woman who is now asleep in the bedroom. My marriage has become the guru, the salvation, the muse, the crack through which the divine shines through.”

When I woke up the next morning, there were the usual offerings of people who liked the post as well as comments. One man had the vulnerability and courage to post this on facebook:

“Thank you Arjuna for this sharing, I feel like [I’m] in front of a choice which is between feeling envious of what you have and I don’t, or instead to decide that ‘I want that too,’ and, as you show, it is possible…”

I was touched.

Over the next days, I got several more messages like this from men: vulnerable men, honest men, rare and courageous men. They came in as private messages on Facebook or through our website, and they all said basically the same thing:

“I read your Facebook post. I want what you have. Show me how to get it.”

So, friends, here it is. The short guide on how to worship a woman, and why it’s the wisest thing that a man can do. First of all, lets pop a few very understandable doubts that you might have. I’m familiar with all of them.

1. “I’m wounded and damaged in my relationships to the feminine.”
So am I, dear brother, so am I. My parents divorced in a messy way when I was four. I grew up alone with my mother. She did her very best to provide for me, but she was unhappy and insecure. By the time I started to have relationships with women myself in my early teens, I discovered that I had a mountain of resentments, fears, and separation in my relation to the feminine. The conscious practice of worship can become a part of healing the wounds.

2. “Arjuna, you’re lucky. You’ve got an incredible partner. I’m together with a woman who’s not like Chameli.”

I really don’t have the ultimate answer to that doubt or question. It certainly could seem to be the case that I’ve been lucky in finding a great woman, but here’s how it happened for me. I’ve had a lot of less lucky connections in my life. I’ve experienced my share of the manipulative side of the feminine: the victim, the rageful, the vengeful. And I have seen the ugly side of the masculine psyche in myself. A few weeks prior to meeting Chameli, my wife, something deep and profound shifted in me, which I believe can shift for anyone in the same way.

3. “I don’t have a partner at all, and I sometimes doubt if I’ll ever meet anybody.”
Being with a partner where worship is not flowing, or not being with a partner at all, are basically two aspects of the same situation: you’ve had an intuition or a glimpse of the possibilities of a deeper love, and you want more of it. The solutions are the same.

4. “I feel my heart is closed down. I live in my head a lot, and I wouldn’t even know what worship was if it broke into my house at 2 o’clock in the morning and held me at gunpoint.”
That’s where the whole thing starts for all of us, when we realize that we don’t yet know how to love. And that’s that the big question that you have to consider: “Is that okay with me?” Never mind how much money you make, or how many friends you have on Facebook, no matter how nice a house you live in, or no matter how big a car you drive, no matter how impressive your partner’s bust size, or how much you meditate and become spiritual… have you loved for real, in a total and undefended way? If not, and here’s where you have to be honest with yourself, is that OK with you? Is it OK to die one day without the heart’s gift having been fully given?

Eight or nine years ago, I came to that question in myself, exactly that, and I discovered that the answer was, if I was was raw and vulnerable and uncomplicated, that it was actually not OK. If I died one day without having fully loved, it would not have truly been a life well lived.

Many many years ago, I went to Bali for a vacation, on my own. I met up with some other young travelers there and we hired a Jeep to take us on a tour of the island. We drove up right to the highest point of the island, where Tourists don’t usually go. Our guide took us to one of the most sacred temples. It was surrounded by a big brick wall with an ornate entrance. After removing our shoes and wrapping scarves around our heads, we stepped together through this entrance. Inside, there was a short courtyard and then another brick wall with another entrance. After more preparations of lighting incense and giving offerings, we stepped through the second entrance. We were allowed to go through the opening in one more wall, but that was it. All together there were ten walls around the deity in the middle. Hindus could go beyond the fourth wall. Devotees of that particular deity could go beyond the fifth wall, and so it went on. The only people allowed to approach the deity directly were those who had given their lives completely and totally to its worship. Everyone else could come a little closer, a little closer, to the innermost beauty, but not all the way to the center.

I’m not a big believer of the worship of statues, but there’s a beautiful symbolism to what I saw there, because a woman’s heart is just like that. At the essence of every woman’s heart is the divine feminine. It contains everything that has ever been beautiful, or lovely, or inspiring, in any woman, anywhere, at any time. The very essence of every woman’s heart is the peak of wisdom, the peak of inspiration, the peak of sexual desirability, the peak of soothing, healing love. The peak of everything. But it’s protected, for good reason, by a series of concentric walls. To move inwardly from one wall to the next requires that you intensify your capacity to devotion, and as you do so, you are rewarded with Grace. This is not something you can negotiate verbally with a woman. She doesn’t even know consciously how to open those gates herself. They are opened magically and invisibly by the keys of worship.

If you stand on the outside of the outermost wall, all you have available to you, like many other unfortunate men, is pornography. For $1.99 a minute, you can see her breasts, maybe her vagina, and you can stimulate yourself in a sad longing for deeper love.

Step through another gate, and she will show you her outer gift-wrapping. She’ll look at you with a certain twinkle in her eye. She’ll answer your questions coyly. She’ll give you just the faintest hint that there is more available.

Step through another gate with your commitment, with your attention, with the small seedlings of devotion, and she’ll open her heart to you more. She’ll share with you her insecurities, the way that she’s been hurt, her deepest longings. Some men will back away at this point. They realize that the price they must pay to go deeper is more than they are willing to give. They start to feel a responsibility. But for those few who step though another gate, they come to discover her loyalty, her willingness to stick with you no matter what, her willingness to raise your children, stick up for you in conversation, and, if you are lucky, even pick up your dirty socks now and then. And so it goes on. You’ve got the gist by now.

Somewhere around the second wall from the center, she casts the veils of her personality aside, and shows you that she is both a human being and also a portal into something much greater than that. She shows you a wrath that is not hers, but all women’s. She shows you a patience that is also universal. She shows you her wisdom. At this point you start to experience the archetypes of women, who have been portrayed as goddesses and mythological figures in every tradition.

Then, at the very center, in the innermost temple itself, all the layers of your devotion are flooded with reward all at once. You discover the very essence of the feminine, and in a strange way that is not exactly romantic, but profoundly sacred all the same, you realize that you could have got here with any woman if you had just been willing to pass through all the layers of initiation. Any woman is every woman, and every woman is any woman at the same time. When you love a woman completely, at the very essence of her being, this is the one divine feminine flame. It is what has made every woman in history beautiful. It’s the flame behind the Mona Lisa, and Dante’s Beatrice, and yes, also Penelope Cruz and Heidi Klum. You discover the magic ingredient which has lead every man to fall in love with a woman.

When you learn how to pay attention to the essence of the feminine in this way, you fall to the floor in full body prostration, tears soaking your cheeks and clothes, and you wonder how you could have ever taken Her, in all of Her forms, for granted even for a second.

So just a couple small questions remain. First, do you get what I’m talking about? Does it jive for you? Does it make sense? And second, if yes, how are you going to get from where you are now to being able to the full capacity of your heart to love for real? I’d be glad to share more about this if we get to know each other better, but here’s how you get started.

First, do what I did, and create an altar in your room dedicated to Divine Feminine. Put only symbols of the feminine on it. I have a painting called “Beatrix” by Dante Gabriel Rossetti. I have a statue of Quan Kin. Populate your altar with anything that reminds you of the feminine, and spend a few minutes of the day in worship. Yes, worship. Adoration. Devotion. Offer up rose petals. Offer poems. Offer everything, and beg Her to reveal Her innermost essence to you. This will work miracles whether you’re single and waiting to meet the right woman or whether you’re already in relationship and long to meet your woman in a deeper way.

The second way to get started: make a practice, a discipline, of telling your woman, or any woman, ten times a day something which you adore about her. “I love the smell of your shampoo.” “I love the way you laugh.” “The color of your eyes is so beautiful.” Of course, you need to keep it appropriate. You can go as far out on a limb as you like if you’re in relationship with a woman, but with anyone else remember the gates. Keep you communication appropriate to the gate number that you find yourself at. Appreciation the curve of a woman’s breast, for example, if she happens to be the cashier at the supermarket, would equate more to harassment than worship.

So here’s enough to get started. Of course, there’s a lot more we can say about this. Feel free to post your comments below, and I’ll use them as the foundation for future blogs.

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charles hugh smith-Trends for 2009: Generational Optimism

July 25th, 2010 24 Comments » Filed under Articles
Trends for 2009: Generational Optimism   (January 5, 2009)

The Millennials (those born between 1980 and 1990) view the future not with doom-and-gloom dread but with optimism. While this could be written off as delusion or “mere youthful optimism,” the younger generations’ optimism may well be an accurate assessment that the patterns, ethics and lifestyles of the older generations have run aground; as a result, the U.S. economy’s deadwood (self-indulgence, moral dysfunction, solipsism/narcissism, debt-based bogus “prosperity,” etc.) can finally be tossed out, along with absurdly impossible National debts and pension/Medicare obligations.

In a recent “conversation with Richard Metzger,” we discussed the Millennial generation’s optimism as per this research: Millennials Anxious Now, Optimistic About Future:

Despite a failing economy, employment woes and countless other concerns, a key segment of Millennials, people born between 1980 and 1990, remain confident about what 2009 will have in store for them. According to an omnibus survey conducted by StrategyOne on behalf of Pepsi, four out of five Millennials are hopeful about the future as the New Year approaches, and nearly all surveyed (95%) agree that it is important for them to maintain a positive outlook on life.

Lisa Orrell, generation relations expert and author of Millennials Incorporated, says “Children of the ’80s and ’90s inherently feel a strong sense of optimism in the future and their ability to shape it. This age group feels refreshingly unencumbered by history or tradition, a feeling that they can accomplish anything they resolve to achieve.”

According to the survey, Millennials spend more time enjoying life than worrying about it and this group is most optimistic about their overall well-being and relationships with friends and family. Other findings include:

74% find that supporting causes make them feel more optimistic
77% of Millennials report having a strong sense of optimism about their careers
95% of Millennials make positive associations when they think of the word “change,” associating it with “progress” (78%), “hope” (77%) and “excitement” (72%)
67% of Millennials say that the election of Barack Obama is making them feel optimistic about the future of the country

Those feeling “excited” about the future include:

57% of Millennials
49% of Gen Xers
38% of Baby Boomers
27% of Post-War Americans

How much of this youthful optimism is just, well, youthful optimism? Is the study too small to be judged accurate? Perhaps the sample is small, but the responses seem to reflect a real difference between generational views of the future.

We all have been inculcated with American culture’s basic optimism; yet where is this optimism in the older generations’ responses?

Perhaps these numbers reflect a true generational divide: the older generations which counted on tapping younger generations to pay for their retirement pensions and Medicare are no longer optimistic because they are finally absorbing the reality that their $66 trillion (or is it $90 trillion? Nobody knows above about $60 trillion) in unfunded liabilities are essentially uncollectable/unaffordable/ain’t gonna happen.

Meanwhile, the younger generations are more optimistic because they sense that these unsustainable burdens will inevitably be lifted from their shoulders, freeing them to get on with the work of fixing all that’s wrong with the U.S. economy, infrastructure and society.

Richard made these insightful comments on the study:

What I make of the optimism is that is it FAR better to be an optimist than a pessimist.

In terms of your health, everything. Timothy Leary and Robert Anton Wilson have written extensively on this. Why perform the “loser script” when you can be following the “winner script”? What’s the point in being gloomy all the time? You only get one life. You’ve got nowhere else to go, you’re stuck here for a passage of time on Earth, make the best of it. Fake it until you make it!

Simple but sage advice.

Taken in generational terms, the Millennials haven’t, at this point, aged enough to have either a) firm political opinions or b) any sort of real, muscular political power. Both are coming, but in due time. I’ve been saying this to anyone who’ll listen to me for the past few days, that I have complete faith in the up and coming generation, especially if 75% of them see reason for optimism! This is good news indeed.

Here’s the key statement:

“95% of Millennials make positive associations when they think of the word “change,” associating it with “progress” (78%), “hope” (77%) and “excitement” (72%)”

… which translates to me as a fair degree (putting it mildly) of more OPEN MINDEDNESS in the young and a greater WILLINGNESS TO CHANGE AND IMPROVISE as events require them.

95% associating “change” with “progress” and not the backwards thinking reaction such a word inspires in, say, the hardcore GOP/Pat Buchanan types out there, well, this is good news to me. It means that the, the twenty-somethings of today, will not hesitate to throw out the BAD and try something new. It means the reactionary element of American politics is on the run.

I don’t think this means that a new “New Left” manifests itself, far from it, I see this generation as being largely NON-ideological. It’ll take the form of Pragmatism, in it’s truest sense, the ultimate American philosophy. Or else there will be a cult of personality that will spearhead it. I don’t think that an “ism” is necessarily what we’ll be dealing with, but maybe. More of a “meme” methinks and anything “green” will be on the ascent, but again, I don’t see any new “ism” on the horizon. except pockets of populism in some of the Red States.

And another thing, I simply do not see the young accepting the massive debts that we accrued before their birth or when they were young children for them and for their children to pay off. If memory serves, I didn’t sign up for this either, did you?

Why should the productive capital of a generation be held up in debt when all it ever was was were digital “values” predicated on DEBT (i.e. fractional reserve lending –I borrow $1000 and so now the bank has $9000 to lend out) in the first place? The concept of money has become very, very fragile. Three percent of all “money” is in paper form, the rest is digital.

It doesn’t GET any more arbitrary than THAT and yet this is what the world is basing its collective economic systems on… something that doesn’t even stand up to common sense or “balancing your checkbook” math!

The idea of being 43 in an era of what I believe will be incredible REVOLUTIONARY change in, not just the young, but in all societies sick of what they’ve become, is to me, a blessing. I used to always think that I was born a few years too late for “the Sixties” and then punk (true, but I got post punk 1979-83 which was even better in hindsight) and then the dotcom era came along and I had quite a ride on that current.

But to be an adult, with the benefit of experience and age and all the (ahem) wisdom that confers (knowledge of history, old enough to have seen how little things change over time, seeing trends of all sorts come and go, old enough to know better and old enough to know that I will never, ever understand womankind) is, I think a good place to be in during a transition of sorts, for society.

I’ve always thought that the US needed a revolution. I think we’re going to get one. I didn’t think I’d see it during my lifetime, but now I’m sure of it will happen.

I can think of a number of positive things that are just around the corner, not the least of which is (as we discussed two weeks ago) is the fact that there should be a LESSENING of stress in terms of the tremendous “fees” and hidden taxes of life in America.

If housing costs and rents drop dramatically… If the leases on automobiles drop dramatically… If there is anything even close to universal healthcare in America (and this MUST BE, they have to do it with the kind of unemployment we face), well, these are three tremendous reasons for the common man to rejoice.

I mean, if universal healthcare, for the most part, just looked like these walk-in clinics that Wal-Mart and Target have opened, and $10 generics, I’ll TAKE IT.

Imagining this doesn’t sound all THAT BAD to me. If a LOT of people get pushed off the hamster wheel of modern living… I think a lot of them will LIKE IT.

It’s the monetary system that has gotten society to where it’s gotten (in terms of the modern world, world trade, wealth creation) but that same system to led to such bounty has been abrogated beyond all repair. When that system is understood (as is now starting to happen) by average people, the game is up. WHO would stand for it and WHO would agree to set themselves up again with the same stupid game with the same rules?

When 97% of the world’s financial assets are held by 3% of the population or whatever that number is, the idea of private property and inherited wealth is idiocy for that 97% to put up with.

Thank you, Richard, for directing our attention to this research and for your commentary.

I would summarize the situation thusly. The “generation that won World War II” is now roughly 82 years of age or older (any younger, and you couldn’t have served in World War II). There is a largely unspoken “social contract” to continue to provide the care which these citizens were promised for the remaining decade or so of their time on Earth; they saved Democracy, and this care is right and just.

But the 76 million-strong baby Boomer generation has no such “social contract” for the simple reason it is demographically impossible for 130 million workers to pay the pensions and horrendously costly Medicare benefits for 75 million retirees.

Yes, I know millions of Boomers will be working past 66 years of age, and so on; that is all just statistical noise in the long view. Two workers cannot pay for one retirees’ benefits when a week in the hospital costs $120,000. (My friend’s father recently exited the hospital after a modest procedure and that was the bill paid by Medicare–the equivalent of three year’s pay or decades of Medicare taxes blown for one week without major surgery.)

Then there’s the undeniable fact that the Boomers were front and center in the past two decades’ orgy of debt, lies, obfuscations, greed and bogus “prosperity.” Not just the Wall Street crowd, but the “flippers” who leveraged multiple homes on shaky credit, etc. Yes, the younger generation tapped the same vein of greed and malice, as did a few enterprising oldsters; but the Baby Boomers flocked unskeptically to worship the gold-veneered gods of rampant debt-fueled consumption and unproductive speculation.

So what “social capital” was built up by the Boomer’s experiments in narcissitic consumption and political/financial self-destruction? Not a whole lot, and I say that as a Boomer (I just turned 55). Exactly what have the past two Boomer presidents and their political cronies accomplished to win the accolades and gratitude of the generations which follow? Borrow trillions and squander it on unproductive wars, speculative excesses and benefits which should have been paid for responsibly out of net National income via taxes.

I can already predict that some readers will chastize me for this moral-tinged outrage at the squandering of the nation’s wealth and the Boomers’ role (either active or curiously passive) in that destruction of wealth, trust and credibility, but to claim that this level of self-indulgence, destruction and willful myopia was “always the norm” is simply not true.

Two decades ago there was widespread outrage that Chrysler was extended $1.7 billion in Federal loan guarantees; now an $850 billion bailout of the most corrupt and venal elements of our economy drew muted cries, and a $14 billion bailout of the auto industry now seems picayune and modest in scale.

This is the Boomers in charge, and there is very, very little to be proud of in my view. It has been a parade of shame for well over a decade: a shamelessly neurotic and remarkably ineffectual trash-TV drama (the Clintons) was replaced by a simplistic charade of “strength” which masked raw stupidity, ignorance, greed and a willful looting of America’s environmental, global and financial assets for private gain.

Guess how well the “privatization of Social Security” would have worked out. That was the ultimate ideological end-game of this administration and its minions on Wall Street–the privatization of immense profits and the socialization of risk.

I have long suggested the Baby Boomers should prepare to gracefully accept that the benefits we promised ourselves are simply unaffordable. Boomers, Prepare to Fall on Your Swords (June 2005):

Now it falls to us to fix the finances of our foolishly bankrupted nation. Either we sacrifice our freebies (every recipient of these programs has extracted far more than they paid in, even including accrued interest) or we leave our children and their children burdened by an impossible debt. I say we go out with idealistic panache, and fall on our swords with grace and dignity.

For more on the demographic impossibility of the Boomers receiving the benefits of their parents’ generation, please read A Generational War We All Lose (March 19, 2008).

The loss of these retirement benefits is rather naturally a source of pessimism for Boomers, but perhaps the nation needs to start looking at its future through the lens of the challenges ahead rather than the broken lens of what was irresponsibly promised in the past.

I am way behind on my email–I appreciate your patience as I strive to catch up from a few days visiting family.

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10 Tips to Banish Monday Blues, Bad Moods, Stress and Get Back in Control! | Office Stress Relief Tips

July 9th, 2010 24 Comments » Filed under Articles

This article has also been published by the author in the health section of her website

For most of us, it the first day back at work following time off for Christmas and New Year. For some, it is just another Monday morning. If you are here in London, you will be greeted by darkness, snow and ice on the grounds as you make your way to work this morning.

And as you get stuck in with work, sneaking in a quick sandwich lunch at your desk, you will probably not be out in the daylight until the weekend. It all sounds cold, dark and depressing. It would have been good to have had a less frantic start to the week but it appears that everyone else is on a different timetable to you and suddenly you are inundated with a million and one urgent deadlines.

You feel the benefits of the time off quickly dissipate, as the stress of your workload start to build up. It seems as if you had never been away from work. That holiday seems like a lifetime ago and you are starting to lose control.

But don’t worry, help is at hand! Life doesn’t need to suck and there is no need to tear your hair out. Check out below our top tips for energising yourself, being productive, retaining control and being happy.

10 tips to maintain control and banish the blues in 2009!

1. Start your day by being good to yourself

Turn your morning routine into a “me” ritual. Have you ever seen cats stretch in the morning? Have a good big stretch when you wake up. As you stretch, a little chant or mantra that you find helpful, will help you wash away any tension. This might sound silly, but try it, it works wonders. If you don’t have a mantra that helps you relax, how about something like “I wash away all my worries.” “I am goddess, I am beautiful and I am in control.”

You can repeat your stretch and mantra even right now at work. If you don’t have the luxury of your own private office or feel self conscious stretching in front of your work colleagues, take a toilet break, and stretch away.

As you take your morning shower, close your eyes and really enjoy the warm water trickling all over you. Repeat your mantra and feel yourself attain deep relaxation.

If you are so inclined, nothing would make you feel even more in control like a brisk walk before starting work, (perhaps your walk to the station), or working-out in the gym.

Enjoy a healthy breakfast before you start work and cut down on the caffeine.

2. Breathe

OK, so you are currently in the thick of things and can’t exactly go back to the morning ritual above. This is perfectly fine. Whenever you are, and what ever you are doing, you can simply breathe. Your brain requires the right amounts of oxygen and carbon dioxide to function properly.

To achieve an immediate state of relaxation, take a few seconds to practice the following breathing exercise. Sit upright on your office chair, with your feet flat on the floor. Put your hands on your knees, relax your back, and breath in slowly, feeling the heaving from your stomach, and not just your chest. As you breathe in, hold your breathe to the count of 5, and breathe out slowly to the count of 5. Repeat this exercise 5 to 10 times and you will immediately feel yourself getting calmer.

3. Visualisation

The power of visualisation is one of the untapped mysteries of our times. Visualise yourself calm, in control and successful. If you are able to do this whilst doing the breathing exercises above, even better.

4. Make a plan

Nothing helps with retaining control than having a plan in place, ticking off things from your to-do list, and the feeling of regaining control by knowing that you are making some tangible progress. If you are inundated with seemingly demanding deadlines, take a few moments to plan a to-do-list. You may then realise that things are not as hopeless as they seem and that there are things in your list that are not as urgent as others. Be firm, confident, and negotiate deadlines if you are able to.

By making a list, clarifying your goals and mapping out your plan to tackle these tasks, you will feel more in control and will have the satisfaction of feeling less over-whelmed as you tick off things from your list.

5. Stop for lunch and get some sunshine!

Sometimes we get carried away with work and convince ourselves that we are too busy to even stop for lunch! It is so easy to fall into this habit but the reality is that the 15 minutes you spend wolfing down a sandwich with one hand, and tapping on your computer with the other, might not be the most productive use of your time.

Even if you are completely snowed with work, get into the habit of taking 20 minutes out of your busy schedule to have lunch. Buy your sandwich or salad and allow yourself at least 5 minutes in the daylight or sunshine for essential Vitamin D and some fresh air. A recent study indicates that the brain’s production of serotonin rises with increasing exposure to sunlight. Serotonin is the important chemical which helps the body perform functions which include control of appetite, sleep, memory and learning, temperature regulation, mood, behaviour, cardiovascular function, muscle contraction, endocrine regulation and depression

Chronic lack of sunshine can lead to depression, or Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) which occurs in the dark winter months.

Listen to your favourite uplifting music on your i-pod whilst you are outside or do some breathing exercises. You will find yourself revitalised and energised by the short time spent outside, away from recycled office air.

6. Write yourself a love letter

One of my mantras is “I am goddess, I am beautiful and I am in control.” Feeling the love for yourself helps to relax, feel in control and to have the self belief and confidence that you can achieve any goal you set for yourself.

Even if no one else appreciates that fact, don’t forget that you are a babe, or the THE dude!

Write yourself a love letter stating all the wonderful attributes that you have and send it to yourself. Reading this private letter or email will reinforce your self-belief, wonderful thoughts and positive energy.

Alternatively, you can re-read a loving note, email or text from a loved one, or recall a conversation with someone who makes you happy. This will remind you of just how wonderful and much loved you are.

7. Surround yourself with happy objects

Some people have pictures of loved ones on their desk at work or postcards from their favourite holidays. You may even have your favourite object on your desk, perhaps a silly little object that means something special to you, a stress ball, laughing Buddha or that shell your loved one discovered by the seaside. Focus on these objects for a few moments. Rub the shell and recall the memories and joy associated with them. This will help sooth you and will help you relax and focus on your activities.

8. Be kind to someone and smile at strangers

The cliché giving is better than receiving might play a part here. If you are having a bad day, there must be someone out there who is having an even crappier day.

Have you ever had your spirit lifted by someone being unexpectedly nice to you? Let someone know that you are grateful to have them in your life. This does not need to be a loved one. How about some kind words or words of gratitude for your secretary or a junior worker who is having loads of shit dumped on them? Some psychologists believe that people who write “gratitude letters” to someone who made a difference in their lives score higher on happiness, and lower on depression and that the effect lasts for weeks!

Smile or say hello to strangers in the work lift and be cheered up by a smile in return. Practising a positive attitude can do wonders to your future happiness and outlook.

9. Eat healthily and drink water

Forget about loading up on coffee or sugary drinks to help you through a busy time. Drink water instead. Also, do not load up on junk food or takeaways because you are busy or stressed. Make sure you’re eating a healthy balanced diet full of goodness, especially B Vitamins and essential fatty acids which help with mood regulation. Ensure that you are eating plenty of fresh fruit, vegetables, nuts, oily fish and whole grains.

10. Get in touch with your inner child!

Set aside a few minutes at the end of the day to play like a child. Fish out the mousetrap, yo-yo and even that Playstation game might do just fine! Savour everyday things, watch children laughing and playing. If you have children, play with their games or play with them! It is difficult to remain stressed when you have the ability to get in touch with the child within you.

Be happy

TMHOgirl is a London based professional fascinated by people, life and the internet. She has a website where she has embraced our right to choose to be a nation of opinionated moaners, whiners and wannabe writers. The website features articles and members’ posts. Check out more of her take on life, register for free and post your own articles at

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April 29th, 2010 1 Comment » Filed under Articles
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Join me in this 40 Days Together In Worldwide Oneness! See you there. Raising the Collective Consciousness of the Inner Child. Erase negative Thoughts!

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Sticky: History, a Dusty Old Book or Reality?

February 11th, 2008 3 Comments » Filed under Articles


I’ve heard it several times. But this time it hit a nerve.

It was at the Bill Maher’s show. (Thank the gods for Bill Maher)

“But we didn’t know what was going to happen in Iraq”

(What did you say…? I beig your pardon..

What do you mean… we didn’t know

I’m not with you on this one, maybe another one, but not this one…Not.

Nor are with you all the people who showed up on the streets and protested around the world against the war.

Nor the people and communities who gathered in their houses to share the pain of impotence, looking at each other with dismay and disbelief.

We all knew. We have a relationship with History. We have a sense of human nature.

We know that if foreign people invade our houses with weapons, kill the SOB of our father, plus a few family members, and take our resources from our own home, to give us candy afterwards, we are not going to be happy. After all, is our house and our father. Regardless of how evil he was and how weird our way of living seems to the foreign people who invaded us. We’ve been doing this for centuries. It’s Our blood… Our tribe… Our territory. Basic human needs. If those needs are taken away, there is not much else to lose. Is there…?

We also know that Iraq’s political borders are recent, enclosing diverse and millenary cultures in an artificially marked territory… “A country younger than Paul Newman”, in Bill Maher’s words. Another fact that doesn’t make things better at this point, after the fact . Don’t you think that we should get it by now?

Messing with people’s houses, territory, and blood, will only make them want to die for the cause… is a worthy cause, isn’t it? Wouldn’t we do the same? What else do they have to lose?. It’s just human nature. Somebody interfering with the natural order of things and most primary needs of a group of human beings is not going to become their favorite person, or hero by magic. No matter how much you wish. Not even in 50 years.

“It’s amazing” -said my father-“that the Vietnamese won the Vietnam war with a bowl of rice, rudimentary weapons, and agricultural tools. Americans spent the same amount of money spent in the 2nd world war.”

And we went on to have the conversation about the strength of the human spirit and how the power of fighting to defend your land in your land, changes the rules of the game, putting the forces of power to test. Transforming weakness into power and power into weakness. Facilitating the emergence of a larger power. The power of the human condition. We were talking about it in the 70s…!

“The Vietnam Conflict” happened in our lifetime. Less than 50 years ago. Oblivion to history and the lessons carrying the knowledge of the experience is a pretty alarming thing when it comes from anybody in a position of authority. Unless there are other interests, of course, in which case, the experience becomes irrelevant.

Salvadorean people have a great saying.  Trying  “to cover the sun with one finger.”is a pretty futile enterprise.

In the nineties, I had a poster in my bedroom with a picture of Albert Einstein that read his quote: “Knowledge is only experience”. I would wake up every day with Albert Einstein reminding me, that my experience was worth living, because it woud derive in knowledge. Exactly as it is. It stayed there, on the wall, for several years. I guess I took it out when the message was incorporated in my system.

History is there, at your disposal, as a huge database of information. Read the rest of this entry »

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