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Adopt Your Inner Child!

 

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Do you believe that somehow in your inner world stands a frustrated little child hungry for attention and love, who projects its needs into your adult life, interfering with your present actual dreams, confusing the hell out of you, and injecting you a lot of the time with a feeling of emptiness  and devastation similar to the one you experienced in your remote childhood ?

Your childhood, so remote and yet so near.

You have a child from your past, present in the household of your life, acting out. Now.  Invading your space.  Preventing  you from being you today.  Making important decisions for you.

The irony is that it is not even about you.  Is about that little child, stuck in some scene of your past, frozen in time.

Demanding acknowledgement.  Directly intervening in all your relationships, because it wants those people in your life to notice it, to feed its anxiety, to fill the holes, to become the parent it is longing for.  It can be any of them,  your lover, your peer your child, your boss or your relative…As long as the relationship feels familiar to that remote scene frozen in its past.

(Every child is an artist, the problem is to remain an artist when he grows up. Pablo Picasso)

It will continue repeating the same behavior, in the hopes that somebody is going to make everything  right for it.  One day.  One day, somebody will rescue it, and liberate it away from the carousel  scene of the past.  Going around and around.

Except that it is mistaken, the only person who can really pull it away from the carousel is you. You and only you  can really calm it down.  It is yours, lives in the household of your life.  It needs your attention.  Nobody else’s.  It needs to hear your grown up command.  The whisper of your will. Your will to live in the present.

Think about it.  What ever happened in the past that created a block,  and got your inner child stuck in the carousel, was then and this is now.  Hopefully what you need now is  different than what you needed then. Simply because the needs of a child are different than the needs of an adult. A child is dependant on her parents and an adult is an independent being.

(Adults are obsolete children ~Dr. Seuss)

A relationship between two adults should be 50/50.

In an adult relationship nobody is rescuing anybody. That would be a 90/10, or 85/15.

So what do you do about it…?


Your Inner Child Is Surprised


You see many things through the eyes of a child.Meaning, you’re rarely cynical or jaded.You cherish all of the details in life.Easily fascinated, you enjoy experiencing new things.
How Is Your Inner Child?

(By the way, this is the result of my quiz.  You want to check  yours?)

For starters, you become aware of it. It is not in a psychology text book, or in somebody else’s’ therapy session.  It is a very real thing executing a lot of power in your life, and believe it or not, your fulfillment and success in life are very interconnected to the behavior of that  little person inside of you, manifesting her persona outside. At its will.

Now, how can you detect when the inner child  is speaking through your vocal cords or acting through your body.

I’ll give you an example. Ask yourself what is your  intention when you buy a gift for a loved one.

  • You tell yourself that you are going to buy something beautiful to make somebody who means a lot to you,  happy. You want to  demonstrate how grateful you are this person is in your life. You look for something that goes with their personality, something they will profoundly appreciate because you entered the conversation in their heads. It’s not about you. Is about them. About making them happy.

or

  • You tell yourself that you need to buy something for somebody you love, so that they acknowledge you for taking the time and effort to buy a gift for them, they will notice you, they will love you more, they will appreciate you. You  might not even enter the conversation in their heads,  you will naturally not put too much attention in choosing the gift. The focus is not on the gift. The gift is only the means to an end: you being noticed, approved and loved.

Which example comes from the  inner child,  frozen in a scene of your past?

It’s  really clear, right?

Which of these thoughts come more often to your mind when you buy a gift?

Ask yourself.  Monitor.  Think  of  more examples.  It is pretty easy to see after a while. Once you see, you can start changing the behavior.  A behavior that after all is not yours, really.  A behavior that is interfering with your life purpose.

How do you do it?

Let me say first, we all know that  any child acting out is begging for attention.  Not love.  Attention.  We tend to forget that love goes together with attention.  Without attention, love  becomes vaporized water. Empty of  active  visible action and function.

” You have to parent your inner child” said Sharon in the middle of one of numerous conversations we had about our inner children.  Many moons ago.  Sharon is so right.  We have to parent our own inner children.  Manifesting the conscious ritual of adopting the child, is a good way to associate the dissociation.  And mainly, getting rid of the feeling of emptiness and devastation.

Now, you know that the remedy to quiet a child that is acting out is first to acknowledge it.  The more you ignore it the worse it is.

Here is the thing. The reason you  are the only one who can do the job,  is because when you grow up, you need to start taking full responsibiiity for your  actions and your life, and that is the furthest thing from the inner child’s mind. A whining child will always prevent you from taking responsibility for your actions. A whining child indulges in victimization.  Victimization is the enemy of your adult self.

So, you start a relationship with your inner child.  This will become the most important relationship of your life.

You  give it attention, acknowledgement, support, and set clear boundaries. With consistency.  That’s pretty much it.  I am not going to lie to you, it requires some work and attention to keep the consistency, but when the message is clear, it will run on automatic pilot.

  1. Acknowledge its pain. Acknowledgement is the best gift you can give somebody who is hurting. You know how good it feels just to be recognized.  Name it.  (Mine wears the name of Grace.  My middle name.  it’s pretty relevant to its personality)
  2. Offer your support.  Your unconditional support.
  3. Take charge and give it directions.  Hold it accountable.

Keep the conversation going…you have to erase the useless data. Dr Stanley Haleakala Hew Len, the Hoopono master, co-author with Joe Vitale of “Zero Limits”  says there are about 15.000.000 thoughts as data interfering with our happiness that has to be erased.  Most of them coming from the inner child.

What your resist persists. Don’t resist the perception of its presence. Deal with it. You don’t want your inner child’s behavior to persist.  It’s not good for you. Nor good for the child.

Before you know,  it will calm down and slowly it will be on the way back to  innocence.  And guess what, that’s the child you need in your life. The innocent child who will inspire you to enjoy life, be creative, and find your life purpose. You need that child.  Big time.

It will not look for acknowledgement somewhere else any more, nor your parent, your child, your friend, or your life partner.  Slowly  but steady will not need to buy a present for her loved one in order to get attention, love and approval.  It has been acknowledged by you.  It has been adopted by you. The most important person in its life.  The only adult with the authority.  Doesn’t need to act out any more.


Check out this video, is a great video about the Inner Child. Very well done. Except it’s a commercial from McDonalds and its title is “Feed your Inner Child.” A misplaced idea though.  Feeding the inner child with McDonalds is perpetrating the pain body.  Don’t get me wrong, I love McDonalds every once in a while.  But feeding iyour inner child with their product, is another story.  Those advertising agencies are shameless.  On the other hand, it made me think that  if it was a  Disneyworld commercial, it would have been more  relevant to recuperating the Innocence of the Inner Child. The one that will free you from that old feeling of devastation and emptiness.  Of course, probably Disney doesn’t need to appeal to something so sacrate.  So… what’s it  going to be for you?  Disney or McDonalds?

(Each man carries within him the soul of a poet who died young.  ~Sainte-Beuve, Portraits littéraires, 1862)

(If children grew up according to early indications, we should have nothing but geniuses.  ~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe)

(O men, grown sick with toil and care,
Leave for awhile the crowded mart;
O women, sinking with despair,
Weary of limb and faint of heart,
Forget your years to-day and come
As children back to childhood’s house
.
~Phoebe Cary)

Quotes from http://www.quotegarden.com/inner-child.html

Luz

The Thought Provoking, Irreverent  Pearl Necklace Grandmother of the 21st C. Paradigm Shifter, Poet, Storyteller, Marketer, Visionary, Blogger, Coach.

Founder Soul Hangout http://soulhangout.net/2171
Founder of  Co-Creative Circles of Coherence, Soul Mastermind Groups. Consciously Connecting & Combining Intelligence with a touch of “Curry”. The 7 “C”‘s of the 7 Condiments of Cooperation

Luz

The Thought Provoking, Irreverent Pearl Necklace Grandmother of the 21st C. Paradigm Shifter, Poet, Storyteller, Marketer, Visionary, Blogger, Coach. Mrs. Fire

“50/50 The Magic of the Middle Line”, Experience Coaching”

Founder Soul Hangout & Co-Creative Circles of Coherence, Soul Mastermind Groups. Consciously Connecting & Combining Intelligence with a touch of “Curry”. The 7 “C”‘s of the 7 Condiments of Cooperation

http://soulhangout.net/2171

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