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Archive for August, 2008

Open Letter to my Ideal Client

August 20th, 2008 6 Comments » Filed under Letters

Dear Client:

You and I haven’t met yet. At least not in a person to person mode. I have been thinking about you for a year and a half now. Well, let’s put it this way, I have actually been waiting to meet you for the last 48 years… I know, it seems like a long time.

Now I understand why. I was busy gathering enough tools along the way to be able to share and assist you. I had to enable myself to speak with the voice of my experience.

Believe it or not, looking back, connecting the dots backwards, it all makes sense. There is wealth in every moment. Every moment gave me a new piece for the puzzle of our common human nature. Every moment helped me collect a new set of integers I can now put at your service.

If I wanted you to materialize in my life I had to prepare myself. I had to be able to walk my talk. Otherwise, my help would not be transformational…and what we need, you and I here, more than anything, is the power of transformation.

So, for the last year and a half I have been not only thinking about you but also focusing on your needs. Your sorrows, your joys. Your dreams.

Now, after learning further who you are and how to communicate with you, I visualize You are my fellow human being, open to work on the voyage of your life.

You are awakening to a new way of doing things.

You know somehow that being more spiritual only means being more human.

You are open to exploring in the most hidden corners of yourself to find the truth, even if it hurts.

You are open to acquire the courage to call a spade a spade, out loud.

You are willing to take action to change what’s necessary in your life because deep down you believe you do have the power to achieve it, provided you work with your thought process, aligning your thoughts. Taking responsibility for yourself.

You are open to devote time and energy into this burning desire that’s propelling you to change.

The power of humility and vulnerability makes sense to you.

You are ready to recognize and discard those elements in your life that are impeding your life purpose to manifest.

The concept of “living in the present is history in the making” appeals to you. You are the maker.

I am so thrilled you and I are going to meet at last.

All that said, you need a little help. A lot is very new for you. It’s true, you are the master of your own destiny, It’s about mastering it. What does it mean? you have to learn to discern. To put the pieces together. That’s no small task. That’s your part. Your 50%. Your responsibility.

My part?

logo-english-8-26-2250 50 Coaching The Magic Of The Middle Line

 

I will give you the other 50%. We’ll met in the middle. I will walk with you while you write your history in the present. The one you want to write. The one you need to write.

The one with the set of integers of your life purpose.

Let’s imagine you have to go on a journey to the bottom of the sea. You have a burning desire to do this, the certainty you have to embark on this journey because you will find important treasures that belong to you and you are looking for. You are very excited and humbled by the anticipation of the experience. You are also a little overwhelmed and scared.

The moment of truth. Perhaps it is, after all the most important decision of your life.

Unknown territory my captain!

You need a guide. A person who is familiar with the bottom of the sea.

Somebody who will help you become familiar with the bottom of the sea.

Somebody who knows the territory.

A great part of the process is what unites us as human beings. The shared passion for the journey. The human need to relating, naming and confirming the steps. Drawing the map together.

A great part of the process is to strip away the drama and exchange it for the enjoyment of what it is.

I commend you for the courage to take action. I commend you for your determination, by your blind faith to go through the unknown.

I love the bottom of the sea. I spent more than 40 years there, as my ex husband says, It is my favorite place. I used to hang out there most of the time in constant exploration, when most people were not interested in knowing anything about it. Now, things have changed. More people are interested in exploring that territory, and it turns out I it’s a familiar territory for me. I am an expert guide. You can hire me for the job.

There is nothing in the world I would rather be doing. Guiding you to the bottom of the sea is my passion. A repeated pilgrimage to find the treasures that will give you back the most valuable parts of yourself.

Now, where do we start? That place may be vast and confusing. We have to go slowly.

We’ll go together with one specific task.

I have come up with an idea to get you started. Something simple and concise that you are longing to resolve. Think of an issue that is bugging you enough to make you feel like walking with a hole in your stomach or a knot in your throat. Derived from your relationship with somebody or something. You want to get rid of it. PRESTO! It’s time for it to go away.

Maybe you regret something was left unsaid; Maybe you are angry or frustrated because you didn’t express yourself. Maybe you want to set the record straight. Maybe you need to assert yourself.

The issue whatever it is, can be resolved by simply writing a letter.

Letters are powerful healing tools. Gary Halbert the legendary copywriter said:

“There is no problem in life that cannot be resolved with a good sales letter.”

I say: “There is no problem in life that cannot be resolved with The 50/50 Letter.”

How?

Well, this issue that’s bugging you is a relationship with somebody dead or alive, an institution in the past or the present. It involves other human beings. You want to resolve it. You want to set the record straight. Mainly in your mind. Take your 50% of the responsibility and leave the other 50% with the other part.

The 50/50 Letter

will be a letter addressed to one or more human beings with the purpose of meeting them in the middle line between the 50’s. That place has the magic of balance. You’ll decide if you want to mail it or not. The result of writing the letter will be not affected by that.

50/50. Just pay attention to the numbers. See the balance?

I’ll coach you to write that letter. We’ll meet once a week on the phone, we’ll exchange emails, until it is ready. You decide if you send it or not. By the time we are done with the letter, you will be free of that feeling.

  • The hole in your stomach will be filled, or the knot in your throat will be untied.
  • You are going to be able to move on from that episode of your life that’s interfering with your growth and progress.
  • Furthermore, we’ll utilize that episode to move on. We’ll find the light underneath the ashes of the conflict. The treasure that’s lying at the darkness of the bottom of the sea.

As a result, you will have a map to the bottom of the sea.

The best part is that next time you want to go back, you will be able to go by yourself. You will know your way.

You will have the tools you need for the journey. The territory will become familiar for you. .

In order to write the letter we’ll determine together how much time we’ll need to accomplish the task. I estimate we need a minimum of 4 weeks and a maximum of 8 weeks. Depending on the issue.

That’s why I am so thrilled to be able to walk this path with you. I know you are going to fall in love with the bottom of the sea. I know that on the way back, you will start taking charge of your own destiny.

To resume, I have to tell you that even though I am an expert at the bottom of the sea, this is unexplored territory for me. I have done the journey with numerous people throughout my life. However, this is my first time with you. I also am a little scared and overwhelmed. and at the same time very excited and humbled by the anticipation of the experience. I will share the gift of my own vulnerability. That’s the meeting point.

Our shared humanity. The middle line. 50/50

Here are some examples of letters that you may want to write:

To your ex spouse for the sake of the children.

To a parent.

To a child.

To a boss or a partner.

To a friend,

To your ideal client.

To your left brain.

To an institution.

You can add your own personal one to the list.

When you are ready to start your letter, contact me. We’ll chat for a few minutes to see if we are a fit for each other and we’ll go from there.

Here is to you.

Luz

P.S. I included the Steve Jobs commencement speech at the University of Stafford , because of its immensely inspirational value. The relevance to the idea of connecting the dots backwards and following your heart. Enjoy it.

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The Truth Shall Set You Free. Reality or Fiction?

August 15th, 2008 5 Comments » Filed under Acknowledgement

I have a dear friend who loves to talk about the truth, he is on a mission to remind everybody who crosses his path to be truthful. When he pronounces the words t-h-e t-r-u-t-h, his voice raises. His face becomes invaded with urgency. You can hear every letter of the phrase lingering, aiming certainty. Like a beam lightening darkness. I love that about him. He is relentless with his message. Hungry for virgin ears who are open to listen. I think he is at his best when sustaining that conversation.

In the last few months I have been working with Ari Galper, the founder of Unlock the Game, coaching his Inner Circle members. He has created a new philosophy for sales professionals. A new Mindset. A new Mindset with a new foundation. The truth. An unprecedented concept in the traditional variety of sales techniques. I love that about Ari. In his own words, “It’s a different way of thinking based on integrity, honesty, and truth.” He says. “It’s like this…forget about business for a moment and think about your own personal life. Do you want relationships with people who are comfortable not telling you the truth? Well, selling is a relationship too, and you can probably understand why “techniques” endorsed by traditional sales trainers make building a genuine human relationship virtually impossible.”

Alice Miller, the polish/Swiss psychologist, philosopher and sociologist who was an advocate for children during most of the 20th Century wrote a book called “The Truth will set you free.” It’s about overcoming emotional blindness and Finding your True Adult Self. This book speaks to the true nature of the human soul, it argues that only by embracing the truth about our past stories we can achieve contentment in the present.

My father used to say that you can deceive others, but you can’t deceive yourself. Even though it sounds good, I found through my experience that the contrary is often true. It is very easy to deceive yourself. But you can’t deceive others. When you pretend being somebody else, shows. People can see through you. Sometimes you stand embellishing your act convinced that your little secret is not out, when everybody is aware of it except yourself. It is not a good scene for you nor everybody else. Incredibly, enough people love you anyway because you have so many great traits that make up for the deceit. You are a great person who wants to pretend is somebody else. After all is your life. You are the master of your destiny right? Can you imagine how much more others would love you if you were not so afraid to show your real self?

Or if they didn’t, how good it would feel to accept they are not a fit for you? And move on?

Now, why do you do that? There are hundreds of reasons. We all do it to some extent while we walk through life trying to find out who we really are. Among those diverse reasons from our different circumstances, the bottom line, COMMON TO ALL OF US IS ONE MAIN REASON:

YOU ARE NOT GIVING PERMISSION TO YOURSELF TO BE YOU.

The thing is that you came to this world to be you. The one and only. Nobody else. “Le pese a quien le pese. Especialmente a ti. ” No matter what anybody thinks. Especially you.

I’ll remind you, that not allowing yourself to be you has some constant consequences. You know what they are, you are living them or used to live them. They are detrimental.

Let’s review some.

  1. You have to pretend most of the time.
  2. Your desires are not important.
  3. You feel split inside most of the time.
  4. You feel like you are cheating yourself most of the time.
  5. You doubt a lot.
  6. You are unable to express your feelings.
  7. You can’t relate to other people.
  8. Your resentment is bottled inside.
  9. You become passive aggressive.

Actually accepting yourself exactly as you are, will erase all those feelings. For good.

You will feel free, energized, humbled, open, vulnerable, inspired, enriched, calm, human, strong.

In one word, truthful.

I promise.

Give yourself permission to be you.

Luz

The Thought Provoking, Irreverent  Pearl Necklace Grandmother of the 21st C. Paradigm Shifter, Poet, Storyteller, Marketer, Visionary, Blogger, Coach.

Founder Soul Hangout http://soulhangout.net/2171
Founder of  Co-Creative Circles of Coherence, Soul Mastermind Groups. Consciously Connecting & Combining Intelligence with a touch of “Curry”. The 7 “C”‘s of the 7 Condiments of Cooperation

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The Power of Now Can Heal the Past. A Gift from my Son.

August 4th, 2008 5 Comments » Filed under Stop! It Is What It Is" Newsletter

http://www.flickr.com/photos/booknero/62617841/

“I am so sorry for what you went through. I honor your pain and I apologize for my part in the situation.

I am so sorry! If I could change the past, go to that moment again and undo it, I would not hesitate. At any cost. But I can’t. All I could do at the time, was not allow anything like that to happen again.

I also carry the pain of that memory. As you do. With empathy I have been able to accept it and forgive myself.” I said to my son.

” I cannot change the past, but what I can do is change the present and the future.” – I continued.

He was 15 years old, it was around that time of the dismemberment of the family. The sorrow, the helplessness, the wrath of divorce. Like that wasn’t enough, he had a horrible fight with his older brother. Instigated by me in an indirect manner but the result was very direct, harming him in a deep way.

Sometimes is only one scene in the plateau of our lives that will make a mark in the delicate fabric of trust.

Sometimes anger goes around misplacing its motives looking for a scape goat. Sometimes when that happens, the wound invades the innocence of the personality, staining its source.

It is outrageously unfair.

He was cheerful, kind, helpful… supportive. It all changed.

He felt betrayed… abandoned… unloved…alone…helpless. Watching his change was torture.

Knowing I had provoked it, was hell.

It took some time to notice the consequences. It took some time to heal.

I never resisted his anger. He just needed to express it. I acknowledged the need for it when he wasn’t too furious to listen. I admired him for being so open with it. I admired his determination for demanding better.

At some level his anger was a gift. It kept me conscious.

I took it step by step.

But I had to make peace with it.

I had the privilege of having a lot of help and support. After several conversations with friends digging into the roots of the problem, and taking action to make sure it was not going to be repeated, I was able to accept it as a painful scene, frozen in the past. The past I was helpless to change.

I have had several soul conversations with my beautiful son about it. Now he is 25. I think he is at peace with it too. His kindness and helpfulness came back. He is involved and  supportive again…and the cheerfulness, mainly the cheerfulness, enlightening his path is back.

He made peace with his brother years ago.

That Saturday morning, he was open, we talked about it in depth in his bedroom, with his girlfriend, when he was 16. After exploring his pain, his father’s pain at his age and the weakness of human nature in general, he said:

“And when you do this mom, when you acknowledge the past in the present, you not only change the present and the future but you also change the past.”

Luz

http://www.flickr.com/photos/mr-scratch/1241773307/

The Thought Provoking, Irreverent  Pearl Necklace Grandmother of the 21st C

Founder Soul Hangout http://soulhangout.net

Founder of  Co-Creative Circles of Coherence, Soul Mastermind Groups Consciously Connecting & Combining Intelligence. The 7 “C”‘s of the 7 Condiments of Cooperation

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