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“You are not allowed to speak about behaviors any more”… said my boss, a couple of weeks before my resignation.
I looked at her, and knew it was the beginning of the end. We had known each other for many years. I had always been fond of her. I knew it was mutual. Even though working together for the last two years had exposed the opposite philosophies we had regarding business and life in general, leaving us both with a sense of futility.
However, I could completely understand her. She had the misfortune of having to put up with me. My daily grief about the very proven theory regarding behaviors and thoughts… The need to address behaviors in order to obtain serious change etc. It went on for over 2 years. She must have been sick of it. I can’t blame her. I know how unbearable I can be when I believe in something hard enough. . .and this was my life’s passion. She also had a very good point. I wasn’t selling enough. She wanted more sales and less problem solving non applicable theories. Mea culpa. By then I felt that our sales strategies needed a serious reinvention to match the new challenges. To keep milking the old cow the same way was simply not enough.
Our thoughts do create our reality and our behaviors are the manifestation of those thoughts.If we are able to:
Identify conditioning thoughts, and dismiss them,
(The thoughts that hold us back and prevent us from succeeding and/or ultimately being fulfilled),
and we are able to replace them with soul-thoughts that will attract the good things we need, the behaviors will follow… and Voila…we are on the way to our full potential, or what I call to meet the Ultimate You.
We become alchemists in possesssion of the inherent magic wand of Choice.With the power of transforming lead into gold. The real Masters of our Destiny.
Our thoughts do create our reality, so let’s get to work. In order to dismiss conditioning thoughts, we need to get into the habit of monitoring them. Using the barometer of our feelings to identify the ones to be dismissed or inject thought where is lacking.
Big task. By choice. Simple as that. Tedious as that. Real as that.I am not going to lie to you. No short cuts.
But we can choose to make it a fun process. We can use the magic wand of Choice to decide, at all times. Letting the voice of our soul guide us in the process.Can anything be more fun than understanding how to be empowered to reach our full potential, and implementing it?
The question is: Is it worth it, and… Can we do it. To me it was always worth it and I had been practising it ever since I could remember. I knew that if I wanted to change the world I had to start with myself and I did. That’s how serious the subject of thoughts’ power and behaviors is for me. Behaviors are the subject of change. They carry the information of the reality that needs change. It’s valuable data.
The company was in a merging transition. In order to facilitate the process of change and imminent growth and succeed, behaviors needed to be reviewed and analysed. Sound strategies had to be developed to replace the destructive behaviors with constructive ones. Everybody needed to hold a piece of the new vision, otherwise developing a common vision would be impossible.
Employees’ behaviors and clients’ behaviors, especially if we were selling advertising. There were senior employees with the company since day one. In the front line. They were there, sitting on the experienced knowledge of the front line. The knowledge that costs nothing, yet if explored correctly may be so productive. I sporadically wonder if we had followed some of my ideas, what would have happen.What if we had started a round table to pick the brain of every employee. The old soap of experience and the new ideas, fresh water for the dishwasher to work together. To get crystal clear glasses in the wash.
If we had acknowledged the old as experts, and ask for their experienced voice contribution. If we had acknowledged the new as vehicles of change and heard their new voices . With their unknown stories…and we had blended it all with a more proactive management philosophy.What would have happened. Nine months later.
In the book “Execution”, its authors Larry Bossidy and Ram Charan make the case: “You cannot have an execution culture without robust dialogue, one that brings reality to the surface through openness, candor and informality.”They also make the remark that numbers are important but they are made by people. How critical would have been to acknowledge that simple truth. People are not numbers. They make the numbers. Something like the goose that lays the golden eggs.The reality is that at some level, we are at their mercy. If they are happy and content they will make us more numbers. If not, they will be a cynic number waiting for a check.
Now, how does that translate into numbers? You do the math.It’s like global warming. A disaster waiting to happen and we prefer to look the other way and play war. To some people, global warming is even some kind of political agenda, some perverse hidden scheming campaign to instigate fear.Well, yes, it’s true, fear motivates people effectively.Fear motivates people to keep doing what they have always done, expecting different results.It maintains the status quo. Effective? You decide.
It’s like the debate on peace and war. Peace makes the majority of people more happy and guess what… more productive. Including me.
“I am here to present my resignation.”- I said to my GM -”I thank you for your efforts in working out a compensation plan to keep me in the company. I know you did your very best, and it was actually a good offer…But it’s a matter of principle” – I continued… -This is your show, you run it the way you want. I have to go and create my own show…Well… in other words, this marriage has not been a happy one.You are not getting what you want. Neither am IAn amicable divorce should be in order-I said smiling – I thank you with all my heart for giving me the push. If it was up to me, I would have remained for a longer time… you know, I am a “donkey” and tend to keep going even if it’s against all odds.
I would have wasted precious time to get on with what I really want to do with my life. Thank you for that.”
I regret to admit that I actually had been one of those painful miss-hires. Those that cost companies a lot of money. Those that feel as painful as “The ugly duckling” story. Because you don’t fit in. And they don’t feel comfortable with an outsider. An awkward situation for both parties. After that realization I was not about to extend the dysfunctional scenario. It was one of those dip situations that Seth Godin talks about in his great book “The dip.” About the fact that winners do quit and quitters win, opposed to the old adage.
Nevertheless, I was a grateful miss-hire who had used every bit of the experience to find its own mother swan, meaning its own identity and its own tribe. After wishing her the best I left her office.The morning I left, a few days later, picked up my things and walked out the door of fear oriented corporate codependency for good.
Now, it was about choosing. What my bosses were doing and how they were doing it was working for them.I had to move my ideas somewhere else.”Man and it’s circumstance” says the Spanish philosopher Ortega y Gasset. The circumstance was created.I got motivated and inspired to make the case to anybody who would listen. And here I am. I can’t thank them enough. They touched the nerve that unleashed this discussion exactly where it’s most needed.It was almost like they were pointing out the need for the conversation, like an imaginary banner designed to subliminally sell me the idea of the focus for my new endeavor…behaviors, thoughts, and feelings.
It was time to jump into the present to start consciously crafting the future with the lessons of the past.
Luz
The Thought Provoking, Irreverent Pearl Necklace Grandmother of the 21st C
Founder Soul Hangout http://soulhangout.net2171
Founder of Co-Creative Circles of Coherence, Soul Mastermind Groups Consciously Connecting & Combining Intelligence. The 7 “C”‘s of the 7 Condiments of Cooperation
Luz
The Thought Provoking, Irreverent Pearl Necklace Grandmother of the 21st C. Paradigm Shifter, Poet, Storyteller, Marketer, Visionary, Blogger, Coach. Mrs. Fire
“50/50 The Magic of the Middle Line”, Experience Coaching”
Founder Soul Hangout & Co-Creative Circles of Coherence, Soul Mastermind Groups. Consciously Connecting & Combining Intelligence with a touch of “Curry”. The 7 “C”‘s of the 7 Condiments of Cooperation
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11 Responses to “I quit my job 9 months ago and I am ready to give birth.”
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Ari Galper, the Pioneer Visionary Sales Guru of the 21st C, who dared to bring truth and humanity to the sales equation." Luz is a precious gift to the world. She has single handedly changed hundreds of lives of our Unlock The Game Inner Circle members.
She has an effortless and natural ability to help people see the truth of why they are struggling and then provide a logical path to happiness, authenticity and success. If you get the chance to work with Luz (I know she has a long waiting list of clients), then grab it while you can!"
Suffice it to say, Luz, that you are on my “Top 10 List of Love & Power-filled Women Role Models”. You delightfully epitomize a woman who seamlessly blends ’spirituality’ with Divine power and fun humor…a far cry from the dour, pious saint of yester-century! A new breed of spiritual personification is permeating our present century, and she wears a huuuuuuuuge smile! Thanks so much for being one of her faces!
I especially want to single out Luz Aguirrebena. I’ve only spent a couple sessions with her on the mindset chat forums but can say that these two hours have been worth the price of the entire system. Her suggestions and serving cold caller coaching have adjusted my approach to one of a much more confident, calm, Luz is a true jewel: compassionate, direct, loving, and ever so knowledgeable
What was most exciting about our time together was that Luz is an acute listener and clearly articulates what can be difficult and nebulous ideas or theories in a way that I could understand and take away with me.
Anyone who senses that he or she has some kind of barrier or confusion around an issue would benefit from a session with Luz who quickly and painlessly escorts you through the Mystery in which you find yourself, shows you the highlights and helps you move on
Luz is a keen and perceptive coach, an honest partner and resilient manager. She is ably and ideally suited to focus her cohorts and clients on the important things in business, in a relationship, in life and in our hearts. She is valued and cherished by those around her as a person full of love, sympathy, concern and a practical nature that values simple, compassionate, common sense based solutions to the most intimate wrenching problems we face. I know this because she helped me through difficult and daunting times
That connection with life that one achieves conversing with you is a wonderful feeling!…time stops and one minute becomes an eternity…Difficult to express it in words…You have a gift to connect the other person with with his or her most profound being and revive situations that come back to clarify themes of the past and position them back in a more balanced and sane place in our lives.
My personal experience by your side has been very strong and I believe you have given me many tools to work in my personal development!!!
From my earliest memories of Luzma’s guidance, to my most recent, she has always been confident in her insights, but equally confident in my ability to determine what I need. I’ve known Luzma as long as I’ve known myself because she has taught me how to learn and embrace who I am.
I could think of no better way for Luzma to spend her time than as a life coach. She has always provoked a natural exchange, often by those who are in need of support most but unlikely to share it with friends or family. By Luzma being so sure in her own skin, the apprehensive gravitate toward her and they too lose all inhibition—I’ve seen it! If given the opportunity to expand her coaching, she will help countless more people reach their potential.
I am very thankful for everything you did for me during my divorce. It was difficult and painful to accept. You taught me how to express my emotions without drama.
I’m in awe of her abilities and effect as a counselor or coach. When Luz articulates her insights about psychological or spiritual concepts that I’m already familiar with, she does it with such a lightness and a clarity that these concepts become new for me and, somewhat ironically, bring on a relieving stillness. Following her train of thought has often enabled the transformation in me that I was struggling for but could barely imagine. It’s very much like Dante describes the effect Beatrice has on him in The Paradiso. Without any emotional or intellectual struggle or physical sensation, by following Luz’s train of thought, my perception of the world and myself is suddenly . . . different. . . . and easier
I was thinking about you over the weekend and about how passionate you are about what you do. I truly believe that you are a success because you have taken your passion and made it your life




January 25th, 2008 at 10:46 pm
Ahhh, what a perfect post to find today!
I left my job two years ago and was starting to regret my decision to go solo. But your experience aligns with my own–from not fitting in to getting out–and it’s reassuring that you chose the same path for the same reasons.
For me, it wasn’t sales, but technical support. I believed in educating clients, feeling they would happily return to expert advice. The company believed in hand-holding and spoon-feeding, which created an unhealthy dependency and demeaned both the clients and the technicians. I regularly reminded them that our mission statement included the word “educate”, and one day I found they had rewritten it…dropping “educate” and diluting our value.
As you said, a difference in philosophy. As you say, continue with my original intent now that I’m free to do so.
Thanks for the nudge, I’ll keep my chin up
Crystal
January 29th, 2008 at 11:36 pm
Hi Crystal, thanks so much for your comment. I am so glad my post resonated with your experience. You are the first person to post a comment and it was when the site was not public yet. Now is public. Please feel free to check the rest of the pages, especially the community tab to participate if you are interested.
Best
Luz
January 30th, 2008 at 7:21 am
Looking forward to hearing more of your story.
To be picky. Please use caps at the beginning of sentences and spaces after full stops. It makes it much easier to read.
January 30th, 2008 at 7:35 pm
Yup been there and done that.
February 1st, 2008 at 10:29 pm
Luz Ma,
Joe and I just read this and it REALLY speaks to the heart. It isn’t technical, which is wonderful, because people don’t want technical. They want real.
He said you would laugh at that…And he says, “You have all the veggies to make a good salad, so please, make a good salad.”
Joe says, “Stop copying my graphic analogies!” (i.e: the dishwasher…)
Personally, I think it was wonderful to read and inspirational. You are on the brink of a revolution. Good luck with everything and God Bless,
Jenny and Joe
January 9th, 2009 at 11:11 pm
hi
nhz0ea7gn3wi2q4z
good luck
April 10th, 2010 at 10:36 am
Two Brits at the top of the Masters leaderboard. Excellent
April 11th, 2010 at 6:34 am
Thanks Alec!
For hanging out
May 8th, 2010 at 12:02 am
I respect the commitment you put into your blog. I wish I had the same drive
May 10th, 2010 at 12:46 am
Thank you so much my friend! It is actually my passion. What is your real passion?
September 10th, 2011 at 5:17 pm
Yeah bookmaking this wasn’t a risky decision great post! .